Misc. Thoughts

Me , myself & I … all over again .ย 

It wasn’t easy . It still isn’t . But I’m doing it , and There’s nothing that’s gonna stop me now . 

Within less then a months time I’ve managed to change my attitude about Every . Little . Thing 

I no longer get mad at the “little” things . I seem to wake up with a smile on my face and a cheerful energy to start the day . For some reason I’m starting to really enjoy myself and my own company . I have control over my own space .                         It’s really good that you know how to be comfortable being alone . Whether it’s late night or early morning , alone time is a gift . You can think all the thoughts you want, without being judged . You can say anything you want , without being heard . You can dance and be happy without being watched . I can gladly say I’ve reached this point . And that’s because I’m focusing extremely hard on Me , Myself and I . 

In life it’s important to realize that no matter who comes in your life and why , they will always have a purpose . Whether they were put in your life with intent to be temporary or to be your life long soul mate. The key thing to remember is that no matter who , nor why .. don’t ever forget about yourself . Don’t think just because somebody else comes into your life and turns it upside down with utter happiness , that you are doing okay. You ” guys” as a pair , may be doing okay . But what about ” you ” as an individual ? 

Did you remember to eat today ? Or were you to busy making sure someone else did? 

Did you do something for yourself today ? Something that YOU wanted to do . Not what somebody else wanted you to do ? 

Here’s Something to live by , no matter where life takes you , you’re always gonna be meeting new people and facing new challenges. The best part is that you have the control . You can change your life in a second . From Whose in it , to where you’ll spend your 80 degree day tomorrow. So why settle for meeting up with a friend who doesn’t care if you ate today , or how you’re doing , they only care about the fun time they’re going to have doing whatever it is that YOU probably had to plan for the two of you to do .  Instead , find people who want to know what happened as a child that made you hate shrimp . Or why you can’t stand the smell of coconut when in reality it’s because of an extremely shitty hang over that you will never forget no matter how hard you try  . 

People are replaceable . Some may be harder then others to cope with living without but if it’s worth being happy over , why not choose the temporary pain for the permanent effect ?  

No matter who , what , where , when or why . Always put your self and your own happiness first . Always. I did it and it’s changed my life for the better . 

I don’t have to worry about what other people are doing or how their actions are effecting me . I only have to worry about what I’m doing and where I’m going next . 

#independenceiskey #putyourselffirst

Misc. Thoughts

Throwback Thursdayย 

c4c67bce6a1ae69fe04701a7294ee3c6I started drinking Dunkin Donuts Mint Hot Chocolate again since winter is around the corner and cold weather is creeping up .

The second I took my first sip and it hit my throat , i instantly remembered all the times I’d drink it whenever I was at the boys and girls club and it was freezing out . Whether it was staying over night with the keystoners for sleepovers with the Children, or going to a seminar , or even a sports game .

Everything.. it all flashed back . What used to be my life , all through my senses and suddenly I missed those people and then I realized there’s a reason the past is in the past and the present is where I am now .

Forever grateful for all the memories I’ve had with my boys and girls club family but even more grateful to have landed in the arms of the man I’m engaged to .

Just a flash from the past for ya ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿผ

Free Writing · Jeromes Journey · Misc. Thoughts

Lostย 

I feel empty . Lost and empty .

It’s like I don’t know what to do with myself . Like I’m constantly waiting for something but what .. I don’t even know what .. Everything I do , I’m rushing to get home .. It’s like no matter what I do I’m in a rush to go back to being alone so I can cry some more . The last thing I want is to be alone , but right now the king has stepped out .. It’s not a choice anymore , the loneliness I feel inside is temporary, I know it is .. But I just want my baby back .. I want this constant feeling of holding tears back to go away . My mouth feels shakey , my eyes watery .. My heart .. Empty .. I miss him so much .

Can this be over yet ..

Free Writing · Jeromes Journey · Misc. Thoughts · Personal

Too short.

tumblr_moxav03iva1r0ii93o1_500Life is too short to take things for granted. Life is too short to get mad at the little things. Life is too short in general.

Today my entire perspective changed as I almost lost someone I love so deeply.

Life is a precious thing. It can be taken from anybody at any time . Even the ones you love.

Stop stressing little problems and appreciate the air you breathe while you’re breathing it.

Free Writing · Misc. Thoughts · Personal

Hit where it hurts.

I can’t pretend like I know where to start when it comes to talking about this so I’m just going to jump right into it.

If there is one thing I had more then anything it’s the heroine and opioid epidemic going around.

Too many of the people that I love strongly are being effected by it.

Just last year I lost my cousin due to an overdose.

My family has been ripped to shreds and I don’t even see my uncles anymore because of it. All three of my uncles are addicts. I get to see them maybe once every six months, if they aren’t back in jail that is. The biggest reason my biological father didn’t raise me or wasn’t in my life as I was growing up is because of the fact that he’s a hard addict. Every body in my family has been in jail under a drug case. Everybody except me and my sisters.

It really hurts me to know that my loved ones have fallen into this trap. I know how hard it is to stop doing something when you’ve been addicted to doing it for so long. I’ve seen too many people die including my own family members, because of this epidemic.

Some things you grow to learn when dealing with family and friends that are addicts is that you have to be understanding. They didn’t choose to be an addict, nobody does. You become addicted to the way something helps you and the way you feel on it, but you never get into it with the intention of being addicted to it. To need and want it when you wake up and to not be able to get by without it because you won’t feel okay after going without your usual dose of whatever your substance of choice is.

Another thing I learned is not to judge. Because of the simple fact that one does not make the choice to become addicted, you can’t judge them for it happening to them.

Addicts need love and compassion. They need to know you don’t hate them regardless of how disgusted you might be with their addictions.

I can’t stand the thought of losing another family member or someone else that I love and if I ever have to go through that again I don’t think I’ll ever look at drugs the same way.

Yes, I smoke marijuana. No I will not become a hypocrite to those who do. This is a post about the HEROIN & OPIOID epidemic.

R.i.p. Danielle LeBlanc. You are missed, we love you. โค๏ธ

November 1985 – April 2015