RUT : a habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change . Syn : dead end, boring routine , humdrum existence.
There comes a point in life, a point where you realize you aren’t happy. A point where you realize, you just don’t know what to do and how to fix your feeling of “unhappy”…
For some people, this point in life can be very brief and last only about a month. For others, that are not so fortunate, they are stuck in this thing we refer to as a “Rut” which means it usually last several months or longer.
So here I am going try my hardest to give advice to those who need to hear it, which if you are one of those people… you know, in a “Rut” well you’ll know it if this advice hits you where it is intended to.
For one, what is the reason for your current Rut? Find an establishment. Do you know what and/or whom was the cause of this Rut?
Once you have figured out where exactly this all started, I think you need to put some things into perspective. Now whether your reason is a person, or an event that took place, ask yourself… Am I the only one effected? If its a person, are they as unhappy as you are now? If not, that right there is your reason to get through this. Why should you be the only one upset? Why should you be the only one whose head feels like a volcano eagerly waiting to erupt from an overdose of sad thoughts from the past? Who is winning here? Definitely not you. Look at you. You’re a freakin’ hot mess. Why? Because of somebody who clearly isn’t as torn up about it as you are. Because of somebody who obviously doesn’t matter to your life because regardless of your state of mind, they are doing just fine. NOW IF the cause of your Rut is more of an event. Perhaps you are grieving the loss of someone close to you, or you lost a job that meant a lot to you, etc. You DEFINITELY need to pick yourself up by the belt loops and get back on your happy boat. I can promise you, and I mean promise you because I’ve been here before… that if it is one of those things you just absolutely can not go back in time and change it so that it didn’t happen, you should not spend more then a month dwelling on this situation. It is in no way fair to your mind or body that you drown in your own loss. Everybody loses something. Sometimes things happen and we just don’t have any control over it. Sometimes we have a tad bit of control but the little control we do have still doesn’t put us where we would like to be. For example, if you lost somebody, due to an accident, or an illness etc. Do you think that person would want to see you weeping everyday? No they wouldn’t. Don’t you think they will only hurt more,the more you hurt? Our loved ones want to see us doing well. They want to see us succeeding and happy. Not sad and depressed and especially not because of them .
Moving on . After you have figured out the reason for all of this and you have told yourself once again, that you need to move forward and find your happiness. Lets focus on actually doing so now. What makes you happy? Is it a hobby? Is it a specific person or people? Is it more intangible things like accomplishing goals, or helping other people with their problems? Once you have figured out what one thing that makes you happy is, that’s where you aim your focus. Although you can not become happy overnight, you can focus on the little things that make you temporarily happy until you can eventually become a happy whole again, which as expected takes time. If helping other people makes you happy, continue to do so! Don’t stop doing those things. BUT In the meantime, put yourself in perspective as “somebody else” and talk to yourself. Give yourself the advice you’d want and need to hear from somebody seeking out to you for help. If you have to be aggressive, be that. If you need to be soft on yourself, make sure you still get through to yourself. Nobody can change the way you do things. Nobody can stop you from being down, but you. Others can try but it all falls back on you, and your mindset. You have to want to be happy as much as others want you to be. You have to crave that smile that hurts your cheeks and that laughter that ties your stomach up in knots tighter then birthday balloons. If you don’t set that level of want within, you are more likely to give up when things go wrong. If a hobby makes you happy, say painting or hunting ( for me , its writing. . . clearly ) DO THAT THING , and do it again and again. The more you fill your free time with things you enjoy doing, the more “namaste” feeling you will feel inside. Switch it up sometimes. Paint with friends, paint at your local Pottery place in town. Invite friends on a hunting trip, or go somewhere totally new and hunt! Do things with what you have already that make you happy. Expanding your happiness is the goal here after all. If you focus more on the positive things and let go of the negative things you are bound to become a more positive person. You are bound to step out of your Rut in due time. Maybe it’s not doing something, maybe it’s a person. Maybe a person makes you happy. Does this person know? If they don’t, now is a better time then ever to tell them they have that effect on you. What if they’re unaware you rely on them for happiness and they to are in a Rut and you just aren’t aware of it? What if you telling them they make you happy is exactly what takes them away from their Rut because now they feel important and want to focus on making you happy. You honestly never know what somebody else is going through so just give it a shot. If someone else is the reason that makes you happy, and you guys are hundreds of miles apart, change that. Move closer. You only have one life why should you be tied down to one part of town in a state far away from somebody who brings happiness to your life? Whatever is standing in the way of your happiness, remove it. If its dwelling over a past, remove all things from your past. You can’t be happy until you eliminate your problem. Eliminate all things negative, and start focusing on the positive things life has to offer. What good is it to be stuck in a Rut? We all know you don’t want to be there. Believe it or not there is people all around you who don’t want to see you hurting and would kill if you told them your feelings and why you weren’t happy. There is tons of people who would love to bring joy to your mind and heart. You just have to let them.
What I am trying to say here is this and only this. Everybody deserves to be happy. Nobody deserves to be in a Rut, yet everybody goes through things in life, it should not change the type of person you are permanently. Get back on your feet. Only you can pick yourself up right now, tell yourself you want this as much as others want it for you and go find your happiness and when you have it, hold onto it tighter then you would the safety bar on the pirate ship. Happiness is a very special thing and without it, our minds are deprived of all color. Get out and stop being Gray . Find your color and then go paint rainbows with it when you do.
You got this.