Words.. it feels like I have nothing to say , but so much to say .
I can’t even begin to explain the amount of pain my heart is in and the amount of tears I’ve cried in the past four days .
He’s gone .. Jeromes journey has come to an unfortunate end . He will always be my man of steel , my super man .. but now he’s flying above me looking down . My baby .. so strong and to think he never quit fighting because of the strength we gave him .
It’s so hard to fathom, I can’t do it . I can’t get a grip and I can’t seem to accept it . I think they call this denial . I’ve been through what feels like every stage of grief in the first day alone and now it’s day four and I finally come to write .
I can’t believe it , just one week ago you and I were planning our wedding together .. and here I am now , planning your services . I have so many emotions running through my mind and my soul .
My soul misses you , I cant wait to see you again , and let our souls be together forever like they were meant to be . You will always be my one and only true love . Nobody will ever have the power to take your place and frankly even if they tried I wouldn’t let them . I’m not sure I can even let anybody in anymore . I’m not sure I want to start over . How do I begin a new chapter in life without my favorite character ? This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do . Saying goodbye to you now , and missing you for the rest of my life .. it just isn’t fair . I will never stop loving you , and when we finally meet again I hope you know my love will just grow stronger .
You have made me into the woman I am today . You took away all my insecurities, nobody will ever make me feel bad about myself again because you’ll be right on my shoulder whispering sweet nothings and pillow talk to block them out from hurting my heart. You will always be my protector and my guardian angel . You’ve always been the man of my dreams and though once before you’ve given me a new reason to live , I have now found another . I want to live to make you proud , I want to be strong for you and I want to do right by you as I know you’ll never take your eyes off me . I’ll be the best dang character in your new chapter that you ever could’ve asked for ( I’ll even write the book for you too ) all you have to do is be worry free , pain free , and love endlessly and I will forever be grateful for your presence.
I’ve never lost somebody I loved before . I’ve never gone through the pain I’ve seen others in many times before . I’ve been sad and cried a day or so for my loved ones loss but never for my own .
You , my young hero , are 23 . I can’t believe you have actually fulfilled whatever it was you were set on this earth for in 23 years . I can’t believe you are always accomplishing things quick , and early . You are always making people proud and living up to all expectations, even gods .
My loss , is gods gain . I trust god , I know he will forever keep you happy the way you needed me to keep a smile on your face .
I’ve yet to say it , because I’m still in denial .. but for now I’ll say this ,
I hope you’re taking the most comfiest nap in the clouds and I’ll be sure to be nagging in your ear sooner than you can blink twice . Just promise me you won’t get mad when I wake you up , because I will do it with love and I will do it in only the way you and I will understand what’s happening . I will never stop loving you , please don’t ever stop loving me , for I need you to love me so I can carry a fuller heart even with the emptiness I feel inside .
I love you always my king and my king you will always be loved .
Until we meet again
07|28|93 – 06|16|17
Sweet dreams my handsome husband ❤️👼🏽☁️